Think your mate might be having an affair? Find out if he is displaying any of the warning signals described by Raymond B. Green, a private investigator and former police officer, and Marcella Bakur, a psychology professor at Marymount Manhattan College. Here, the 20 emotional and physical signs that he is having an affair:
1. Your mate is more attentive to your needs than usual.
This is due to the guilt feelings experienced by the cheater in the early stages of his or her affair. The attention will diminish as the affair continues.
2. Your mate begins buying you gifts — lots of gifts.
These are “guilt gifts” purchased because your partner feels guilty about betraying you and showering you with presents makes him or her feel better.
3. Your mate’s behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something isn’t right.
If this happens, pay attention to your instincts. Ignoring them means you want to blind yourself to the truth. You know your mate’s habits, routines and attitudes better than anybody, so be suspicious when these things change.
4. Your mate frequently picks fights with you.
Doing this gives him reason to get mad and storm out of the house and thus the opportunity to meet a lover. A cheater may also do this because of mixed emotions he is feeling about betraying you.
. Your mate constantly talks about your relationship ending when you fight or argue.
She says things like, “What would you do if our relationship ended?” or “If anything ever happened to us, I would always love you like a friend.” In general, she seems very negative about your relationship. Your mate makes these statements because she has a lover to fall back on if your relationship ends. If your partner repeats these kinds of statements often, be suspicious.
6. Your mate becomes very moody.
He or she seems very upbeat and excited when leaving you but acts somber and depressed when around you. If your mate is in a long-term affair, he/she will try to keep both relationships running smoothly. Any problems the cheater has in one relationship will spill over into the other relationship as well. This is inevitable.
7. Your mate never talks to you.
You live together but don’t interact. He has become cold and inconsiderate of your feelings.
8. Your mate’s taste in music suddenly changes.
For instance, she always listened to pop music but suddenly starts listening to country music. Your partner might be listening to and growing fond of this new type of music because her lover listens to it.
9. Your mate lacks self-esteem.
This doesn’t necessarily mean he will go out and have an affair, but an insecure individual often looks to others for guidance. If an insecure person’s needs aren’t being met, he might find the desired feelings of security and positive feedback in an affair with someone else.
10. Your mate continually criticizes another person.
11. Your mate criticizes things about you that he or she once found attractive and appealing.
12. Your mate easily becomes offended at the comments, however harmless, that you make.
13. Your mate stops paying attention to you, your children and home-life in general.
14. He is a shitty communicator and takes forever to text you back. Duh, because he’s texting countless other girls, so it takes a while for him to get back to you.
15. He occasionally agrees to plans, then backs out later — like telling you he can come to your cousin’s wedding and then acting weird when you actually try to book a rental car.
16. He falls off the map more often than not.
17. He can’t commit — to you or to future plans, even things like what you’re going to do with him on Saturday.
18. He sometimes lies about random/inconsequential things at times when it doesn’t really seem to matter.
19. Everyone he follows on Instagram appears to be a sexy-looking, half-naked woman.
20. He has a lot of numbers in his phone that aren’t saved under names. You can bet those numbers are attached to girls who are conversing with him in a flirty manner. Trust.
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